Social Media “AITA for admitting within a group of other women that I hate being a mom?”
Social Media “AITA for admitting within a group of other women that I hate being a mom?”
Sep 4 2025, 1:12 PM
No_Wind9703 I know it’s taboo but if I could go back in time I would not choose being a mom. As for why I chose to have three kids when I obviously don’t enjoy it, all I can say is that I wasn’t strong enough to resist all of the pressure. Pressure to give my mom grandkids, to give them siblings, to give a son, to do what society expects, all of it. I guess I’m just weak. I’ve done the best that I can do.
Yes I have been to therapy for this. No, it didn’t change how I felt.
It just changed how I handle things. My husband is an amazing, involved Dad so this has nothing to do with any of that. But of course he gets to be the Dad in the family, and I’m the mom.
Well I was with a bunch of other moms working on back to school night things and of course everyone was venting a little. Lots of jokes. Eventually I said something to the tune of “if I could go back in time and do it all over again I wouldn’t, I’d move to NYC and do something else.” It went over like a lead balloon.
A few of the moms were quick to jump in with “but it’s all worth it in the end, isn’t it?”
I said I don’t know, not really, and I feel like I’ve wasted my entire life and that I had the chance to be someone or do something and in the end all I am is a mom. Again, lead balloon. Things got awkward and a few women moved away from me. I stopped talking.
One pulled me aside as we were leaving and told me that I should be careful about what I say and that it put a damper on the evening. She said she was sorry I'm going through a rough time but it wasn’t ok to talk like that and it was something for me to talk about with a therapist. I said ok, if I can’t be honest in this group, I just won’t come. She was quick to say “No no we still want you to help” and I said “But you want me to shut up to do it.” She didn’t say anything just made her mouth in a flat line and said to have a good night.
Well we were supposed to go finish setting something up for back to school night and I just didn’t go. They called me and asked where I was and I said since I made them so uncomfortable they could find someone else to get free labor from. The woman who called said all I needed to do was just put on a better attitude when I’m there. I said I’m not a fucking cheerleader, I’m not going to put on a whole song and dance just to glue some fucking streamers to the rafters. She said I was being an asshole about this and I said thanks for the input and hung up.
I just hate all this phony fake bullshit and I’m sick of it. I already have to fake excitement and happiness with my kids all the time and I think I should be able to be real around other moms who get it. Well lay it on me, am I the one that’s wrong?
All the top comments call OP an asshole and tell her to keep her feelings to herself, tell her to go to therapy even though she already went, tell her she "chose" to have three kids (and therefore cannot regret becoming a mother..?), and so on. I don't know why it was such a big deal what she said. It seems society is obsessed with making sure mothers who regret having children shut up about it. The only acceptable image is "happy mommy." Tf.
Additionally, why would what OP said "put a damper" on the evening if all the other mothers were completely happy with their choices of being mothers? Why does it make it uncomfortable for them that a woman who had children finds it regrettable? Why do they feel the need to ignore and suppress that this type of outcome exists?
I cannot believe the audacity of the women calling afterwards expecting OP's free labor and calling OP the asshole for not giving it when she was actively being shunned for being honest in the last session. And the commenters having the audacity to think the other woman's expectation of OP continuing to give free labor is totally justified?? People's entitlement of women's time and energy continues to astound me.
Big fucking elephant in the room that society tries to ignore and actively cover up about how many women never wanted to become mothers. The shunning this women experiences both in person for expressing her view and online to ensure it is absolutely pounded into her that she is wrong is "fascinating." I think many people would just much rather prefer to not allow women to express their regrets on being mothers, because it would force them to have to think about their own mothers being actual human beings who made a choice that they regret.
Edited Sep 4 2025, 1:15 PM by Clover.
Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐
No_Wind9703 I know it’s taboo but if I could go back in time I would not choose being a mom. As for why I chose to have three kids when I obviously don’t enjoy it, all I can say is that I wasn’t strong enough to resist all of the pressure. Pressure to give my mom grandkids, to give them siblings, to give a son, to do what society expects, all of it. I guess I’m just weak. I’ve done the best that I can do.
Yes I have been to therapy for this. No, it didn’t change how I felt.
It just changed how I handle things. My husband is an amazing, involved Dad so this has nothing to do with any of that. But of course he gets to be the Dad in the family, and I’m the mom.
Well I was with a bunch of other moms working on back to school night things and of course everyone was venting a little. Lots of jokes. Eventually I said something to the tune of “if I could go back in time and do it all over again I wouldn’t, I’d move to NYC and do something else.” It went over like a lead balloon.
A few of the moms were quick to jump in with “but it’s all worth it in the end, isn’t it?”
I said I don’t know, not really, and I feel like I’ve wasted my entire life and that I had the chance to be someone or do something and in the end all I am is a mom. Again, lead balloon. Things got awkward and a few women moved away from me. I stopped talking.
One pulled me aside as we were leaving and told me that I should be careful about what I say and that it put a damper on the evening. She said she was sorry I'm going through a rough time but it wasn’t ok to talk like that and it was something for me to talk about with a therapist. I said ok, if I can’t be honest in this group, I just won’t come. She was quick to say “No no we still want you to help” and I said “But you want me to shut up to do it.” She didn’t say anything just made her mouth in a flat line and said to have a good night.
Well we were supposed to go finish setting something up for back to school night and I just didn’t go. They called me and asked where I was and I said since I made them so uncomfortable they could find someone else to get free labor from. The woman who called said all I needed to do was just put on a better attitude when I’m there. I said I’m not a fucking cheerleader, I’m not going to put on a whole song and dance just to glue some fucking streamers to the rafters. She said I was being an asshole about this and I said thanks for the input and hung up.
I just hate all this phony fake bullshit and I’m sick of it. I already have to fake excitement and happiness with my kids all the time and I think I should be able to be real around other moms who get it. Well lay it on me, am I the one that’s wrong?
All the top comments call OP an asshole and tell her to keep her feelings to herself, tell her to go to therapy even though she already went, tell her she "chose" to have three kids (and therefore cannot regret becoming a mother..?), and so on. I don't know why it was such a big deal what she said. It seems society is obsessed with making sure mothers who regret having children shut up about it. The only acceptable image is "happy mommy." Tf.
Additionally, why would what OP said "put a damper" on the evening if all the other mothers were completely happy with their choices of being mothers? Why does it make it uncomfortable for them that a woman who had children finds it regrettable? Why do they feel the need to ignore and suppress that this type of outcome exists?
I cannot believe the audacity of the women calling afterwards expecting OP's free labor and calling OP the asshole for not giving it when she was actively being shunned for being honest in the last session. And the commenters having the audacity to think the other woman's expectation of OP continuing to give free labor is totally justified?? People's entitlement of women's time and energy continues to astound me.
Big fucking elephant in the room that society tries to ignore and actively cover up about how many women never wanted to become mothers. The shunning this women experiences both in person for expressing her view and online to ensure it is absolutely pounded into her that she is wrong is "fascinating." I think many people would just much rather prefer to not allow women to express their regrets on being mothers, because it would force them to have to think about their own mothers being actual human beings who made a choice that they regret.
Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐
