The Unicorn Manifesto (archiving my Ovarit self-posts)

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Apr 13 2025, 9:50 PM

#11

https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/537440/on-parenting-and-gendered-socialization

On parenting and gendered socialization
Posted on Feb 20, 2024

The following is a chain of Tumblr posts on gendered socialization, parenting, and society.

Quote:Hey can we stop acting like parents are the sole deciders of the way their kids are raised? like yeah they are the most significant influence in most cases but there are literal thousands of people and institutions and attitudes that will shape a kid’s life in their formative years so let’s stop pretending that parents who raise their kids in a “gender neutral” environment are the answer to all problems of oppressive gender roles

Quote:And I mean yes, please, by all means raise your child without gender roles but when your daughter starts picking barbies over tonka trucks maybe consider the fact that her preschool teachers are encouraging her to play with dolls and her friends have pink plastic kitchen playsets at home that look like so much fun and there are commercials and print ads with girls her age having the time of their lives with a purple glitter makeup set instead of just throwing your hands up and saying “Welp I guess femininity is innate”

Quote:YES. This reminds me of this anecdote by Deborah Rhode in Cordelia Fine’s Delusions of Gender:

“One mother who insisted on supplying her daughter with tools rather than dolls finally gave up when she discovered the child undressing a hammer and singing it to sleep. ‘It must be hormonal,’ was the mother’s explanation. At least until someone asked who had been putting her daughter to bed.”

Parents should try their best to raise their children in a gender-neutral way! but it’s not going to make a dent to counter outside socialization unless the parents’ own behavior matches their words, and in most cases that’s not how it is. Children generalize their parents’ behaviors to represent what men and women are “like”. But a mother saying, “women don’t need to wear makeup” while herself wearing makeup isn’t going to convince her children that women don’t need to wear makeup, for example.

There was a study done where children were interviewed whose parents had evaluated themselves as encouraging their children to play with “opposite-gendered” toys, but despite their parents words, the children still played with “same-gendered” toys and believed their parents would have a problem with them playing with “opposite-gendered” toys (Freeman 2007). They know. Children are getting sooooo many more messages than their parents’ words.

Even if parents do everything right in this regard, if they both create a gender-neutral environment in the home and model gender-neutral behaviors themselves, it’s still only going to make up a small part of their children’s socialization. We are undermined constantly by children’s media, their peers, their teachers, other family members, literally the random people at the grocery store who comment on my son’s toenail polish! Gender is enforced everywhere. It’s inescapable in our society.

Even when it’s not enforced by being specifically instructed or punished, gender is commented on! It’s noted! And even that matters. There’s another very famous study where an arbitrary role system was created to see if we can artificially model gender: preschoolers were randomly assigned to a Blue group or a Red group for a three-week period. They wore t-shirts to match their group. In one classroom, that’s all they did, it wasn’t mentioned again once they put on their t shirt. But in the other classroom, the color groups were used constantly- children had to line up according to their color, they had their cubbies decorated in blue or red, they were referred to by those labels (“good morning, Blues and Reds!”). And this grouping for three weeks was enough to change children’s views in the room where the groups were emphasized- the children grouped themselves into playgroups according to color, they wanted to play with toys they were told other Reds or Blues liked !! (this is Bern 1983 btw) And is this not how gender is treated in our society? Children are color-coded, their toys are color-coded, the fact that they are a boy or a girl is commented on CONSTANTLY, EVERYWHERE. Children come to the conclusion that there is something fundamentally different about boys and girls because so much emphasis is put on distinguishing them. It’s all so arbitrary! We don’t need gender! Like it would be laughable that our society is so artificially constructed if it weren’t so goddamn harmful

Anyways yes it is much bigger than parenting

Quote:This is what I’ve been trying to explain. When I talk about socialization, people take offence thinking that I’m only blaming the parents. It’s much bigger than that.

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Apr 13 2025, 9:50 PM #11

Quote:Hey can we stop acting like parents are the sole deciders of the way their kids are raised? like yeah they are the most significant influence in most cases but there are literal thousands of people and institutions and attitudes that will shape a kid’s life in their formative years so let’s stop pretending that parents who raise their kids in a “gender neutral” environment are the answer to all problems of oppressive gender roles

Quote:And I mean yes, please, by all means raise your child without gender roles but when your daughter starts picking barbies over tonka trucks maybe consider the fact that her preschool teachers are encouraging her to play with dolls and her friends have pink plastic kitchen playsets at home that look like so much fun and there are commercials and print ads with girls her age having the time of their lives with a purple glitter makeup set instead of just throwing your hands up and saying “Welp I guess femininity is innate”

Quote:YES. This reminds me of this anecdote by Deborah Rhode in Cordelia Fine’s Delusions of Gender:

“One mother who insisted on supplying her daughter with tools rather than dolls finally gave up when she discovered the child undressing a hammer and singing it to sleep. ‘It must be hormonal,’ was the mother’s explanation. At least until someone asked who had been putting her daughter to bed.”

Parents should try their best to raise their children in a gender-neutral way! but it’s not going to make a dent to counter outside socialization unless the parents’ own behavior matches their words, and in most cases that’s not how it is. Children generalize their parents’ behaviors to represent what men and women are “like”. But a mother saying, “women don’t need to wear makeup” while herself wearing makeup isn’t going to convince her children that women don’t need to wear makeup, for example.

There was a study done where children were interviewed whose parents had evaluated themselves as encouraging their children to play with “opposite-gendered” toys, but despite their parents words, the children still played with “same-gendered” toys and believed their parents would have a problem with them playing with “opposite-gendered” toys (Freeman 2007). They know. Children are getting sooooo many more messages than their parents’ words.

Even if parents do everything right in this regard, if they both create a gender-neutral environment in the home and model gender-neutral behaviors themselves, it’s still only going to make up a small part of their children’s socialization. We are undermined constantly by children’s media, their peers, their teachers, other family members, literally the random people at the grocery store who comment on my son’s toenail polish! Gender is enforced everywhere. It’s inescapable in our society.

Even when it’s not enforced by being specifically instructed or punished, gender is commented on! It’s noted! And even that matters. There’s another very famous study where an arbitrary role system was created to see if we can artificially model gender: preschoolers were randomly assigned to a Blue group or a Red group for a three-week period. They wore t-shirts to match their group. In one classroom, that’s all they did, it wasn’t mentioned again once they put on their t shirt. But in the other classroom, the color groups were used constantly- children had to line up according to their color, they had their cubbies decorated in blue or red, they were referred to by those labels (“good morning, Blues and Reds!”). And this grouping for three weeks was enough to change children’s views in the room where the groups were emphasized- the children grouped themselves into playgroups according to color, they wanted to play with toys they were told other Reds or Blues liked !! (this is Bern 1983 btw) And is this not how gender is treated in our society? Children are color-coded, their toys are color-coded, the fact that they are a boy or a girl is commented on CONSTANTLY, EVERYWHERE. Children come to the conclusion that there is something fundamentally different about boys and girls because so much emphasis is put on distinguishing them. It’s all so arbitrary! We don’t need gender! Like it would be laughable that our society is so artificially constructed if it weren’t so goddamn harmful

Anyways yes it is much bigger than parenting

Quote:This is what I’ve been trying to explain. When I talk about socialization, people take offence thinking that I’m only blaming the parents. It’s much bigger than that.

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Apr 13 2025, 9:52 PM

#12

https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/533915/on-transgender-being-a-belief-system

On transgender being a belief system
Posted on Feb 8, 2024

The following is text from a post from Tumblr user radical-desiderium

Quote:I feel like the most frustrating part about trans activists is how few of them will even acknowledge that gender IS a belief system. They don't even get it, they truly think that because they bought into it as truth, the rest of the world has to follow suit. But it's a belief system, it requires just as much faith as any religion. First you have to believe in the existence of souls separate from the body, then you have to believe those souls can be born into the "wrong" body, then you have to believe feelings of disconnect from your body can (and in many people's minds, must) be solved through physical alteration.

Like...these are all points of contention. Not everyone believes in souls in the first place; your "inner self" is not a tangible, measurable thing, there is no scientific support for souls. Even if you're not religious, believing in souls, and wondering how anyone else could possibly not believe in souls, is the influence of religious thinking. And even among those who believe in souls, not everyone will agree that you can be born with the "wrong" soul.

The thing about systems of belief is that not everyone will agree with yours in particular. Belief is a choice made out of faith, and as much as people hate to hear it, being trans is also a choice made out of faith. Because trans vs. cis is all based on personal identity, you choose to identify as trans when someone else in the same situation with the same dysphoric feelings may not choose to. What makes them so tangibly different? You choose to be part of the trans community, or you can choose not to.

Belief systems can often provide a sense of community, because broadcasting your belief system allows you to find other like-minded people and find support and connections. It's why many people are religious, not because they hold the teachings particularly close to their hearts, but because they feel like their support systems are intertwined with their religion. The religion reinforces itself the more you engage in the community in this way. You see the same thing with gender, people who buy into it form their identities around it and join communities based on shared identities and surround themselves with friends who also buy into gender. All this reinforces gender as a concept, and can also insulate opinions to the point that it becomes surprising/distressing to hear dissension or pushback against those beliefs when they are outside of those spaces. With systems of belief, there's also often the fear of ostracisization from their peers if they question or change their opinions out of sync with the group. Within the community, opinions shift because nothing is static but the goal with fitting in is to have your opinions shift with the group slowly over time.

A belief system can really matter to you. You can find meaning in it if you wish, you can even build it up to be something that you consider integral to your sense of self. It's your life and you can find meaning in that life wherever or however you want. But other people may not feel the same and no one should have any right to force their system of beliefs onto others. You have to accept that there is a wide variety of people on this earth with different thoughts and opinions, and disagreement does not necessarily mean hate. Sometimes disagreement just means you don't share the same belief system.

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Apr 13 2025, 9:52 PM #12

Quote:I feel like the most frustrating part about trans activists is how few of them will even acknowledge that gender IS a belief system. They don't even get it, they truly think that because they bought into it as truth, the rest of the world has to follow suit. But it's a belief system, it requires just as much faith as any religion. First you have to believe in the existence of souls separate from the body, then you have to believe those souls can be born into the "wrong" body, then you have to believe feelings of disconnect from your body can (and in many people's minds, must) be solved through physical alteration.

Like...these are all points of contention. Not everyone believes in souls in the first place; your "inner self" is not a tangible, measurable thing, there is no scientific support for souls. Even if you're not religious, believing in souls, and wondering how anyone else could possibly not believe in souls, is the influence of religious thinking. And even among those who believe in souls, not everyone will agree that you can be born with the "wrong" soul.

The thing about systems of belief is that not everyone will agree with yours in particular. Belief is a choice made out of faith, and as much as people hate to hear it, being trans is also a choice made out of faith. Because trans vs. cis is all based on personal identity, you choose to identify as trans when someone else in the same situation with the same dysphoric feelings may not choose to. What makes them so tangibly different? You choose to be part of the trans community, or you can choose not to.

Belief systems can often provide a sense of community, because broadcasting your belief system allows you to find other like-minded people and find support and connections. It's why many people are religious, not because they hold the teachings particularly close to their hearts, but because they feel like their support systems are intertwined with their religion. The religion reinforces itself the more you engage in the community in this way. You see the same thing with gender, people who buy into it form their identities around it and join communities based on shared identities and surround themselves with friends who also buy into gender. All this reinforces gender as a concept, and can also insulate opinions to the point that it becomes surprising/distressing to hear dissension or pushback against those beliefs when they are outside of those spaces. With systems of belief, there's also often the fear of ostracisization from their peers if they question or change their opinions out of sync with the group. Within the community, opinions shift because nothing is static but the goal with fitting in is to have your opinions shift with the group slowly over time.

A belief system can really matter to you. You can find meaning in it if you wish, you can even build it up to be something that you consider integral to your sense of self. It's your life and you can find meaning in that life wherever or however you want. But other people may not feel the same and no one should have any right to force their system of beliefs onto others. You have to accept that there is a wide variety of people on this earth with different thoughts and opinions, and disagreement does not necessarily mean hate. Sometimes disagreement just means you don't share the same belief system.

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Apr 13 2025, 9:59 PM

#13

https://ovarit.com/o/Women/533828/thoughts-on-the-word-queer

Thoughts on the word "queer"?
Posted on Feb 8, 2024

I understand this might be a controversial topic, but I hope we could have a discussion about how people feel about the word "queer." I have been confused over how this word has simultaneously been attempted to be reclaimed, while also some people not wanting it to be reclaimed. I found this article that seems to be a proponent of using the word queer.

In the article it states the following:

Quote:Queer is a word of uncertain origin that had entered the English language by the early 16th century, when it was primarily used to mean strange, odd, peculiar or eccentric. By the late 19th century it was being used colloquially to refer to same-sex attracted men. While this usage was frequently derogatory, queer was simultaneously used in neutral and affirming ways.

So this is what confuses me when people try to reclaim queer. The word starts out by meaning "strange" or "odd," and then in the 19th century was apparently frequently used in a derogatory manner. Given this, I understand why some people would not want to be called queer. The article then further goes on to show how some gay people reclaimed the word in gay rights movements slogans and in speech.

From my point of view, if somebody says they don't want to be called a word, especially a word that has roots in being defined as "odd" or "strange," and is a word that has been used in a derogatory manner towards a group of people, I would understand and respect why some people would not want to be called that. So from my perspective, people trying to encourage others to be okay with such a word being used on them, it feels odd to me.

For instance, on Ovarit, b*tch is considered a misogynistic slur and it is against rules to use that word. Some women may disagree with the b-word being considered a slur, and some women want to reclaim it. How is attempting to reclaim the b-word different than attempts to reclaim the word queer? If someone tried to encourage me to reclaim the b-word, a word that means breedable female dog, as if it should be used like a word of endearment for women, I'd tell them to fuck off.

I really would like to know other people's thoughts on this. I would specifically be interested in hearing the voices of people who are attracted to the same sex on this, since I have "no horse in this race," so I think my opinion matters less than those who might actually be called or considered "queer."

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Apr 13 2025, 9:59 PM #13

Quote:Queer is a word of uncertain origin that had entered the English language by the early 16th century, when it was primarily used to mean strange, odd, peculiar or eccentric. By the late 19th century it was being used colloquially to refer to same-sex attracted men. While this usage was frequently derogatory, queer was simultaneously used in neutral and affirming ways.

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Apr 13 2025, 10:01 PM

#14

https://ovarit.com/o/NameTheProblem/532994/reddit-s-going-to-announce-their-ipo-in-march-what-if-we-made-graphics-displayin

Reddit's going to announce their IPO in March. What if we made graphics displaying all the degrading and violent porn subreddits that exist on it and shared them all over social media?
Posted on Feb 4, 2024

We could use the "subredditstats" website to easily find what depraved subreddits are out there. For example, finding overlaps between r/bdsm gets a bunch of depraved stuff: https://subredditstats.com/subreddit-user-overlaps/bdsm

I think it'd also be hilarious to make graphics about how Reddit is "LGBTQ" friendly and talk about their lovely lesbian community, r/Lesbians (for those who don't know, r/Lesbians is full of porn of "lesbian" women, obviously meant for men).

For those thinking "Why bother? What'll this do?" this can actually work to shut down these subreddits, through enough shame/embarrassment. This is how r/jailbait got banned, a journalist wrote an article about it and there was an outrage. There were also many other heavily degrading porn subreddits that got banned after a meme came out (it was basically this one but it said "we no longer carry pro-women content") and went viral.

I think it'd be funny, at the very least.

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Apr 13 2025, 10:01 PM #14

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Apr 13 2025, 10:02 PM

#15

https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/532328/on-gendered-socialization

On gendered socialization
Posted on Feb 1, 2024

Text from a Tumblr post on female vs. male socialization:

Quote:I am deeply, deeply sympathetic to the horrific trauma that gender-nonconforming male/amab children are subjected to on the basis of their gender-nonconformity, but it is SO intellectually dishonest to say "I was abused because of my femininity in my boyhood and therefore I am not male socialized" when being abused for expressions of femininity that are COUNTER to how you're expected to behave is literally definitionally male socialization. Female/afab children are not abused out of their femininity in an effort to get them to express masculinity, because female socialization is centered around extorting feminine, diminutive behavior out of girls.

Quote:NO ONE is immune to socialization.

Quote:I think some people mistake 'being socialized as {x}' as 'being treated well as {x}' or 'having the privileges of {x}'.

I read an account today of an autistic female person who claimed that they were 'not socialized as female' because of their gender non-conformity and autism. This confused me until I realized that what they mean is that they did not experience a mainstream socialization. They received punishment other people did not and they did not receive any of the 'perks' of being a girl. They decided that this means they did not receive 'female socialization' but some other special socialization for 'freaks'.

Undoubtedly, being treated like a freak is traumatizing. The gender policing that gender non conforming people, male and female, go through, is traumatizing. It is alienating.

Nevertheless, socialization is not something you choose, it is something other people do to you to get you to learn your 'place' in the gender hierarchy. This is why a girl who shows interest in feminine things is not punished for it, but a boy who shows interest in feminine things is harshly punished. On the flipside, a girl who shows interest in masculine things may be mocked and excluded for it. A boy who does the same thing is praised.

'Male socialization' doesn't mean "everyone loves me and believes in me because I'm male." Because gender is about power, 'male socialization' is about educating and indoctrinating boys to denigrate girls, women, and anything associated with them so they can take their place in the masculine hierarchy. Policing boys who break that code is absolutely part of male socialization.

'Female socialization' doesn't mean "people are nice to me because I'm a girl and I'm nice to people because I'm a girl." Because gender is about power, 'female socialization' is about educating and indoctrinating girls to prepare them for subordinate roles to men. Policing girls who refuse subordination is absolutely part of female socialization.

It's worth noting socialization is not always successful. If it were, then we never would have had feminist thinkers, male makeup artists, gay people in general, and the general sense of malaise people experience being trapped in their gender role. Kids often resist socialization into adulthood. Those of us who are gender non-conforming tried to resist the socialization especially hard. Resisting the socialization does not mean that it did not occur. 'Socialization' is something other people do to you. Accepting the lessons of socialization or not does not mean that the socialization attempt didn't happen.

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Apr 13 2025, 10:02 PM #15

https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/532328/on-gendered-socialization

On gendered socialization
Posted on Feb 1, 2024

Text from a Tumblr post on female vs. male socialization:

Quote:I am deeply, deeply sympathetic to the horrific trauma that gender-nonconforming male/amab children are subjected to on the basis of their gender-nonconformity, but it is SO intellectually dishonest to say "I was abused because of my femininity in my boyhood and therefore I am not male socialized" when being abused for expressions of femininity that are COUNTER to how you're expected to behave is literally definitionally male socialization. Female/afab children are not abused out of their femininity in an effort to get them to express masculinity, because female socialization is centered around extorting feminine, diminutive behavior out of girls.

Quote:NO ONE is immune to socialization.

Quote:I think some people mistake 'being socialized as {x}' as 'being treated well as {x}' or 'having the privileges of {x}'.

I read an account today of an autistic female person who claimed that they were 'not socialized as female' because of their gender non-conformity and autism. This confused me until I realized that what they mean is that they did not experience a mainstream socialization. They received punishment other people did not and they did not receive any of the 'perks' of being a girl. They decided that this means they did not receive 'female socialization' but some other special socialization for 'freaks'.

Undoubtedly, being treated like a freak is traumatizing. The gender policing that gender non conforming people, male and female, go through, is traumatizing. It is alienating.

Nevertheless, socialization is not something you choose, it is something other people do to you to get you to learn your 'place' in the gender hierarchy. This is why a girl who shows interest in feminine things is not punished for it, but a boy who shows interest in feminine things is harshly punished. On the flipside, a girl who shows interest in masculine things may be mocked and excluded for it. A boy who does the same thing is praised.

'Male socialization' doesn't mean "everyone loves me and believes in me because I'm male." Because gender is about power, 'male socialization' is about educating and indoctrinating boys to denigrate girls, women, and anything associated with them so they can take their place in the masculine hierarchy. Policing boys who break that code is absolutely part of male socialization.

'Female socialization' doesn't mean "people are nice to me because I'm a girl and I'm nice to people because I'm a girl." Because gender is about power, 'female socialization' is about educating and indoctrinating girls to prepare them for subordinate roles to men. Policing girls who refuse subordination is absolutely part of female socialization.

It's worth noting socialization is not always successful. If it were, then we never would have had feminist thinkers, male makeup artists, gay people in general, and the general sense of malaise people experience being trapped in their gender role. Kids often resist socialization into adulthood. Those of us who are gender non-conforming tried to resist the socialization especially hard. Resisting the socialization does not mean that it did not occur. 'Socialization' is something other people do to you. Accepting the lessons of socialization or not does not mean that the socialization attempt didn't happen.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover
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902

Apr 13 2025, 10:03 PM

#16

https://ovarit.com/o/WomensLiberation/532040/on-young-people-having-less-sex-in-a-pornsick-culture

On young people having less sex in a pornsick culture
Posted on Jan 31, 2024

Text posts from two Tumblr users on why young people are having less sex due to a pornsick culture.

Quote:I don’t even understand why people are so confused by today’s young people having less sex than previous generations of young people. Young men cannot maintain an erection unless they’re being incredibly rough and degrading and oftentimes watching a video of another man being much more violent to another woman and young women don’t actually want to be beaten and humiliated and like injured every time they have sex. Our expectations are not compatible

Quote:I see so many incredulous thinkpieces reaching for reasons why younger generations are having less sex, and yet the simplest explanation never seems to occur to these major publications. It’s porn addiction. An unprecedented, absolutely staggering number men today are porn addicted. A lot of them lack the drive to go find real-life women to interact with.

Those who do try to interact with real-life women find themselves unable to, because they’re too pornsick to understand that real women are not the male-centric objects porn makes us out to be. The few who actually make it to the point of having sex with a real-life woman find themselves unable to perform. Many of them have ED issues as a result of their porn addiction. Pretty much all of them have no idea how to please a woman since all they’ve ever seen is the pornified, male-centric version of sex acts.

Unsurprisingly these real-life sex encounters disappoint when they realize women are humans with real bodies and minds and preferences, not airbrushed sex dolls who automatically moan and fake orgasms when penis is inserted. They can’t make the woman cum. They can’t stay hard. They return to their phones. And the women they used are waking up more and more to the fact that pornsick men are useless in bed, and most men these days are porn-addicted, so why even bother? We have a lot of other ways we have fun that don’t involve men or porn.

So we (meaning straight and especially bi women) are losing any drive we previously had to sexually interact with men, via negative reinforcement. Sex with porn-addicted men is just awful. Men have Pornhub and Onlyfans and all those porn and cam sites where their lack of respect for women, lack of social skills, lack of personal grooming, etc... where none of that shit matters and they get to orgasm anyway.

It’s funny, the orgasm has always been one of nature’s most effective conditioning techniques to inspire humans to reproduce sexually and propagate the species for hundreds of millennia. But in this shitty postmodern hellword, men have hacked nature itself to revolve around their pleasure and their dicks, and nothing and no one else.

Congrats, men. You’ve done it. You have earned the right to sell your souls to Mindgeek and jerk your useless dicks into silly putty all day every day. Live out all your wildest dreams and fantasies in the comfort of your own dark, lonely bedrooms.

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Apr 13 2025, 10:03 PM #16

Quote:I don’t even understand why people are so confused by today’s young people having less sex than previous generations of young people. Young men cannot maintain an erection unless they’re being incredibly rough and degrading and oftentimes watching a video of another man being much more violent to another woman and young women don’t actually want to be beaten and humiliated and like injured every time they have sex. Our expectations are not compatible

Quote:I see so many incredulous thinkpieces reaching for reasons why younger generations are having less sex, and yet the simplest explanation never seems to occur to these major publications. It’s porn addiction. An unprecedented, absolutely staggering number men today are porn addicted. A lot of them lack the drive to go find real-life women to interact with.

Those who do try to interact with real-life women find themselves unable to, because they’re too pornsick to understand that real women are not the male-centric objects porn makes us out to be. The few who actually make it to the point of having sex with a real-life woman find themselves unable to perform. Many of them have ED issues as a result of their porn addiction. Pretty much all of them have no idea how to please a woman since all they’ve ever seen is the pornified, male-centric version of sex acts.

Unsurprisingly these real-life sex encounters disappoint when they realize women are humans with real bodies and minds and preferences, not airbrushed sex dolls who automatically moan and fake orgasms when penis is inserted. They can’t make the woman cum. They can’t stay hard. They return to their phones. And the women they used are waking up more and more to the fact that pornsick men are useless in bed, and most men these days are porn-addicted, so why even bother? We have a lot of other ways we have fun that don’t involve men or porn.

So we (meaning straight and especially bi women) are losing any drive we previously had to sexually interact with men, via negative reinforcement. Sex with porn-addicted men is just awful. Men have Pornhub and Onlyfans and all those porn and cam sites where their lack of respect for women, lack of social skills, lack of personal grooming, etc... where none of that shit matters and they get to orgasm anyway.

It’s funny, the orgasm has always been one of nature’s most effective conditioning techniques to inspire humans to reproduce sexually and propagate the species for hundreds of millennia. But in this shitty postmodern hellword, men have hacked nature itself to revolve around their pleasure and their dicks, and nothing and no one else.

Congrats, men. You’ve done it. You have earned the right to sell your souls to Mindgeek and jerk your useless dicks into silly putty all day every day. Live out all your wildest dreams and fantasies in the comfort of your own dark, lonely bedrooms.

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Clover
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902

Apr 13 2025, 10:05 PM

#17

https://ovarit.com/o/WomensLiberation/529335/on-wh-res

On “wh*res”
Posted on Jan 19, 2024

The following is copied text from username-redacted screenshots from what appears to be Twitter. From this post on r/fourthwavewomen.

Quote:When you as a woman realise that every culture has their definition of ‘prostitute’—the woman with her hair out, the unmarried woman, women who live alone, who wear red lipstick, who work, etc—you will understand that prostitute means woman, & you will fight for your liberation.

Quote:There is no version of woman who cannot be seen as a prostitute. To some people, going to college makes you a harlot, to others, wearing tight outfits, or not going to church, or drinking alcohol, or having a car, or having premarital sex, or wearing lashes, or not cooking…

Quote:Every version of woman can be twisted into a wh*re. The girl who visits a guy she likes is a harlot in the same way that the married woman whose husband is disgusted that she likes sex is seen by him as a wh*re. Travelling alone, or with your group of female friends? Wh*res!

Quote:Never delude yourself into thinking that any appearance you put on will save you from the tag, or that there are women who are more deserving of the wh*re tag than yourself, or that you are better in any way, shape or form. It is not something that you can escape.

Quote:You will learn that your liberation is not more important than the liberation of other women, that by excluding any woman because of how they look, speak or dress, you are also excluding yourself, and you will jump out of the illusion that you are the “better” woman.

Quote:The first time I remember being called a wh*re, I was seven. I cannot even remember exactly what I'd done but what could a seven year old girl have possibly done to be called a wh*re? It was the first of many.

Can you remember the first time you were called a wh*re?

Quote:When I was a religious woman who didn't know sex or even drank alcohol, I was called a wh*re for wearing red lipstick, for playing football with the boys, for wearing trousers, for wearing heels, for chewing gum… for literally existing.

Quote:So it kills me when I see women who think that other women deserve to be called wh*res, harassed, raped, or killed, for looking, dressing or acting a certain way. Internalised misogyny is dangerous, and I refuse to see women who hate their own kind as victims. They are dangerous.

Quote:They will watch you burn for their own pleasure because it serves the purpose of portraying them as more deserving of love and respect, tap dancing for their oppressors and hoping that they will get a seat at the table someday for being servants to their own chains.

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Clover

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Apr 13 2025, 10:05 PM #17

Quote:When you as a woman realise that every culture has their definition of ‘prostitute’—the woman with her hair out, the unmarried woman, women who live alone, who wear red lipstick, who work, etc—you will understand that prostitute means woman, & you will fight for your liberation.

Quote:There is no version of woman who cannot be seen as a prostitute. To some people, going to college makes you a harlot, to others, wearing tight outfits, or not going to church, or drinking alcohol, or having a car, or having premarital sex, or wearing lashes, or not cooking…

Quote:Every version of woman can be twisted into a wh*re. The girl who visits a guy she likes is a harlot in the same way that the married woman whose husband is disgusted that she likes sex is seen by him as a wh*re. Travelling alone, or with your group of female friends? Wh*res!

Quote:Never delude yourself into thinking that any appearance you put on will save you from the tag, or that there are women who are more deserving of the wh*re tag than yourself, or that you are better in any way, shape or form. It is not something that you can escape.

Quote:You will learn that your liberation is not more important than the liberation of other women, that by excluding any woman because of how they look, speak or dress, you are also excluding yourself, and you will jump out of the illusion that you are the “better” woman.

Quote:The first time I remember being called a wh*re, I was seven. I cannot even remember exactly what I'd done but what could a seven year old girl have possibly done to be called a wh*re? It was the first of many.

Can you remember the first time you were called a wh*re?

Quote:When I was a religious woman who didn't know sex or even drank alcohol, I was called a wh*re for wearing red lipstick, for playing football with the boys, for wearing trousers, for wearing heels, for chewing gum… for literally existing.

Quote:So it kills me when I see women who think that other women deserve to be called wh*res, harassed, raped, or killed, for looking, dressing or acting a certain way. Internalised misogyny is dangerous, and I refuse to see women who hate their own kind as victims. They are dangerous.

Quote:They will watch you burn for their own pleasure because it serves the purpose of portraying them as more deserving of love and respect, tap dancing for their oppressors and hoping that they will get a seat at the table someday for being servants to their own chains.

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Clover
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902

Apr 13 2025, 10:08 PM

#18

https://ovarit.com/o/WomensLiberation/528896/what-is-the-difference-between-radical-feminism-and-gender-critical-feminism

What is the difference between radical feminism and gender critical feminism?
Posted on Jan 17, 2024

I was curious and wondered about this today. I specifically remember a feminist woman on Tumblr, whose blog I enjoy, who stated in her profile that she is a "gender critical feminist not radfem," which made me wonder what the difference was.

I know that there is a book called Gender Critical Feminism by Holly Lawford-Smith which probably explains gender critical feminism well (thank you @tuff_terfies for mentioning it).

I noticed one of the reviews for this book states the following, with bold text being my emphasis:

Quote:This is a cogent and very well-sourced overview of gender-critical feminism, which is the modern child of radical feminism. [...] This is an important book for any person interested in understanding the roots of feminism and its branching into often oppositional movement. Radical feminism and now gender-critical feminism are often scorned as separatist or trans-exclusionary, and its exemplars (e.g. J.K. Rowling, Katherine Stock, this author) similarly scorned and attacked. The book has high value as a learning tool for anyone interested in feminism and who wants to understand the roots of feminism, the connection between radical feminism and gender-critical feminism, gender-critical feminism's perspective on the sex industry & trans ideology & intersectionalism, and how the gender-critical movement centers the historical and current oppressions faced by women in terms of prescribed gender roles.

So it sounds like this book would help me understand, but I cannot read it as fast as I can make a discussion post on Ovarit with my question, lol.

My understanding of radical feminism is what I wrote on radfem.kindrad.org, which has gone through several revisions with advice and feedback from feminist women, who I am grateful for. (I am still working on implementing some feedback, I'd say ignore the pomo/qt section for now, the rest of the points seem to have been overall accepted. As always, I welcome being corrected on anything written.)

Since radical feminists are proponents of gender abolition, since they are critical of gender (ie. gender critical), I am wondering what sets gender critical feminism apart. What are the differences between these two branches of feminism? For instance, does gender critical feminism not discuss surrogacy and prostitution, which I feel like radical feminists criticize due to the acknowledgement of women's sex-based oppression?

I appreciate any thoughts and insight into this matter! 💜

I really appreciate girl_undone's response to this so I'm also going to include it in this archival post:

girl_undone I wrote this in another thread:

Quote:Plenty of radical feminists were part of developing the gender critical space. “Gender critical” is a term that includes radical feminists and non-radical feminists and non-feminists. It’s a big tent word for the movement resisting the redefinition of women, men, female, male, sex, and gender. The trans movement redefined “gender” as a supposed identity everyone has that aligns with sexist stereotypes, they redefined “woman” as someone who inherently identifies with sexist stereotypes about women, etc. People began to emerge who thought this was bullshit and feminists started using the “gender critical” banner. A lot of us were gender abolitionists but were happy with the phrase gender critical because it’s more inclusive.

As far as I’m concerned you cannot be a radical feminist without being gender critical. You can’t be a radical feminist if you don’t know what men and women are, or if you prop up an ideology that states that women identify with sexism or naturally “are” what sexist stereotypes say we are (”cisgender” is a new form of naturalizing the oppression of women, which feminists took pains to identify as a phenomenon before the trans movement did it again and obscured the old work). But so much of the point of the gender critical banner was to create a movement against a new form of misogyny and reality denial. We weren’t interested in only creating a club of radical feminists, we were seeking converts and allies and sane people who saw how crazy stuff was getting.

A lot of women who check every radical feminist box don’t identify as radical feminists for reasons that often seem to be based in misunderstandings (or sometimes an allergy to labels and ideologies which is understandable), and the same goes for feminism generally, where plenty of women advocating or working to advance women’s interests don’t identify as feminists. Telling people they have to join radical feminism club to be part of the movement against redefining women doesn’t help that cause - especially if people think that you have to be a political lesbian to be a radical feminist, or have to abort your male fetuses, or have to be a Marxist, or whatever other weird misconception they got from someone on social media.

It’s worth noting that before the trans movement and all this “gender identity” bullshit, feminists were using the word “gender” to talk about sex statuses, sex roles, and sex stereotypes (so were sociologists). We did this to isolate the social realities constructed and put on people based on their sex apart from the actual biological realities of sex. Feminists were differentiating the social reality from the biological reality, because the social reality can be changed but it gets conflated with biological reality in order to make it seem like it can’t be changed. This mattered because even women who were reinventing feminism in the second wave had to pull apart the sexist beliefs they’d been inculcated with from the facts about what women are capable of. Even women my age (millennial) have stories about realizing women weren’t as inferior as they were taught and had internalized. Before the trans movement sucked all the air out of the planet and salted the earth, mainstream feminists used the word “gender” as such. So when we started using the “gender critical” banner online, that was the meaning of gender. We were critical of the trans movement, how they were re-naturalizing sexist stereotypes about women, we were critical about how they were obscuring the reality of sexual dimorphism and how that reality leads to male domination of women, and so much more.

There were some self-identified feminists (in retrospect, now, this is all so few people) who identified as trans inclusive, and the “gender critical” label became how those of us who didn’t accept the trans movement’s ideology found each other and differentiated ourselves in language.

“Gender critical” was an organic emergence out of a moment. It became increasingly defined as people discussed things and disagreements turned into widely-accepted views among the people in the space. It didn’t start with a manifesto, it started with finding people who wanted to talk about all this.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover

Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

Apr 13 2025, 10:08 PM #18

Quote:This is a cogent and very well-sourced overview of gender-critical feminism, which is the modern child of radical feminism. [...] This is an important book for any person interested in understanding the roots of feminism and its branching into often oppositional movement. Radical feminism and now gender-critical feminism are often scorned as separatist or trans-exclusionary, and its exemplars (e.g. J.K. Rowling, Katherine Stock, this author) similarly scorned and attacked. The book has high value as a learning tool for anyone interested in feminism and who wants to understand the roots of feminism, the connection between radical feminism and gender-critical feminism, gender-critical feminism's perspective on the sex industry & trans ideology & intersectionalism, and how the gender-critical movement centers the historical and current oppressions faced by women in terms of prescribed gender roles.

I really appreciate girl_undone's response to this so I'm also going to include it in this archival post:

girl_undone I wrote this in another thread:

Quote:Plenty of radical feminists were part of developing the gender critical space. “Gender critical” is a term that includes radical feminists and non-radical feminists and non-feminists. It’s a big tent word for the movement resisting the redefinition of women, men, female, male, sex, and gender. The trans movement redefined “gender” as a supposed identity everyone has that aligns with sexist stereotypes, they redefined “woman” as someone who inherently identifies with sexist stereotypes about women, etc. People began to emerge who thought this was bullshit and feminists started using the “gender critical” banner. A lot of us were gender abolitionists but were happy with the phrase gender critical because it’s more inclusive.

As far as I’m concerned you cannot be a radical feminist without being gender critical. You can’t be a radical feminist if you don’t know what men and women are, or if you prop up an ideology that states that women identify with sexism or naturally “are” what sexist stereotypes say we are (”cisgender” is a new form of naturalizing the oppression of women, which feminists took pains to identify as a phenomenon before the trans movement did it again and obscured the old work). But so much of the point of the gender critical banner was to create a movement against a new form of misogyny and reality denial. We weren’t interested in only creating a club of radical feminists, we were seeking converts and allies and sane people who saw how crazy stuff was getting.

A lot of women who check every radical feminist box don’t identify as radical feminists for reasons that often seem to be based in misunderstandings (or sometimes an allergy to labels and ideologies which is understandable), and the same goes for feminism generally, where plenty of women advocating or working to advance women’s interests don’t identify as feminists. Telling people they have to join radical feminism club to be part of the movement against redefining women doesn’t help that cause - especially if people think that you have to be a political lesbian to be a radical feminist, or have to abort your male fetuses, or have to be a Marxist, or whatever other weird misconception they got from someone on social media.

It’s worth noting that before the trans movement and all this “gender identity” bullshit, feminists were using the word “gender” to talk about sex statuses, sex roles, and sex stereotypes (so were sociologists). We did this to isolate the social realities constructed and put on people based on their sex apart from the actual biological realities of sex. Feminists were differentiating the social reality from the biological reality, because the social reality can be changed but it gets conflated with biological reality in order to make it seem like it can’t be changed. This mattered because even women who were reinventing feminism in the second wave had to pull apart the sexist beliefs they’d been inculcated with from the facts about what women are capable of. Even women my age (millennial) have stories about realizing women weren’t as inferior as they were taught and had internalized. Before the trans movement sucked all the air out of the planet and salted the earth, mainstream feminists used the word “gender” as such. So when we started using the “gender critical” banner online, that was the meaning of gender. We were critical of the trans movement, how they were re-naturalizing sexist stereotypes about women, we were critical about how they were obscuring the reality of sexual dimorphism and how that reality leads to male domination of women, and so much more.

There were some self-identified feminists (in retrospect, now, this is all so few people) who identified as trans inclusive, and the “gender critical” label became how those of us who didn’t accept the trans movement’s ideology found each other and differentiated ourselves in language.

“Gender critical” was an organic emergence out of a moment. It became increasingly defined as people discussed things and disagreements turned into widely-accepted views among the people in the space. It didn’t start with a manifesto, it started with finding people who wanted to talk about all this.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover
Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

902

Apr 13 2025, 10:09 PM

#19

https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/528596/a-post-on-womens-public-bathrooms-by-herglowingheart

A post on women’s public bathrooms by herglowingheart
Posted on Jan 16, 2024

The following is a copy of a Tumblr post from user herglowingheart

Quote:A trans “woman” is just a man. If there are no criteria to be a TW, any man can say he is. And that man now has unfettered access to female only spaces. When men have access to women’s spaces, women are not safe. A man who does not feel comfortable being a man is not then a woman. That is not the logical next step.

Elderly women, disabled women, women with children, all deserve female only bathrooms. Muslim women, Orthodox Jewish women, deserve female only bathrooms. Miscarriages happen in public bathrooms, those women do not need a man in the stall next to them during that. Periods happen, leaking through your pants happens, those women/girls don’t need a man in the stall next to them when that happens. Women go to the bathroom to get away from creepy men at bars and shows, those women do not need that creepy man following them into the bathroom (and legally being able to enter) while she tries to get away. Many many times there are stalls that don’t lock due to being broken, we can generally trust other women to respect that, or even hold the door for us. We can not expect that same level of decency from a man. Men piss on the toilet seats. Men piss in the sink. Men piss on the floor. Women should not have to deal with the indecency of men. Women should not have to use a toilet that 100 other men have used that day. Women take longer in the bathroom. We have to remove more clothing to use the bathroom. We are more vulnerable in the bathroom. We do not need men in our bathrooms. Men put cameras in our bathrooms, in South Korea we saw how bad this could get. Women do not need to deal with perverse men recording us in one of our most vulnerable states.

Women deserve safe, clean, accessible, dignified bathrooms. We deserve to know that when we leave the house we will have a female exclusive space to do our business, and feel safe while doing so. We deserve to walk into a public bathroom and not have to see men in our space. We deserve to give young girls a safe place to do their business and escape from men.

People do not leave the house if they can not use the restroom. Women do not want to use the restroom with men. Women have fought to have women’s restrooms in public spaces, and we deserve to keep them female exclusive.

Males do not belong in our spaces.

Women and girls deserve to feel safe.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover

Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

Apr 13 2025, 10:09 PM #19

Quote:A trans “woman” is just a man. If there are no criteria to be a TW, any man can say he is. And that man now has unfettered access to female only spaces. When men have access to women’s spaces, women are not safe. A man who does not feel comfortable being a man is not then a woman. That is not the logical next step.

Elderly women, disabled women, women with children, all deserve female only bathrooms. Muslim women, Orthodox Jewish women, deserve female only bathrooms. Miscarriages happen in public bathrooms, those women do not need a man in the stall next to them during that. Periods happen, leaking through your pants happens, those women/girls don’t need a man in the stall next to them when that happens. Women go to the bathroom to get away from creepy men at bars and shows, those women do not need that creepy man following them into the bathroom (and legally being able to enter) while she tries to get away. Many many times there are stalls that don’t lock due to being broken, we can generally trust other women to respect that, or even hold the door for us. We can not expect that same level of decency from a man. Men piss on the toilet seats. Men piss in the sink. Men piss on the floor. Women should not have to deal with the indecency of men. Women should not have to use a toilet that 100 other men have used that day. Women take longer in the bathroom. We have to remove more clothing to use the bathroom. We are more vulnerable in the bathroom. We do not need men in our bathrooms. Men put cameras in our bathrooms, in South Korea we saw how bad this could get. Women do not need to deal with perverse men recording us in one of our most vulnerable states.

Women deserve safe, clean, accessible, dignified bathrooms. We deserve to know that when we leave the house we will have a female exclusive space to do our business, and feel safe while doing so. We deserve to walk into a public bathroom and not have to see men in our space. We deserve to give young girls a safe place to do their business and escape from men.

People do not leave the house if they can not use the restroom. Women do not want to use the restroom with men. Women have fought to have women’s restrooms in public spaces, and we deserve to keep them female exclusive.

Males do not belong in our spaces.

Women and girls deserve to feel safe.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover
Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

902

Apr 13 2025, 10:10 PM

#20

https://ovarit.com/o/WomensLiberation/527586/the-right-to-say-no-by-athenawasamerf

“The Right To Say No” by athenawasamerf
Posted on Jan 13, 2024

The following is a copy of a post from Tumblr by user athenawasamerf:

Quote:A lot of the more liberal, ‘cute’ Muslims will always be on my ass about ‘you left the religion now stay away from it. Why do you keep talking about it?’ so I’m here to end this pointless discourse.

Because I’m not allowed to leave it.

I live in Egypt, a muslim-majority country with laws that allow my family to kill me with no repercussions if I disobey them, try to run away from them, bring ‘shame’ or ‘dishonour’ upon them (through such horrendous acts as having a boyfriend, or even just male friends), or if I ruin the family reputation. There’s a million and one ways for them to get away with my abuse, with marrying me off, with controlling my every move, with killing me in cold blood. If I speak out in my real life about leaving Islam, I’ll be killed by a brain washed stranger before my parents even get to hear about it.

Islam is not a religion of peace, and anyone who speaks basic arabic can tell you that the word Islam does not come from the word salam, meaning peace or greetings. They come from the same root word, yes, but that does not mean in arabic what it does in english. Islam comes from the word istislam, meaning to surrender. To surrender yourself completely to Allah, mind and soul. To obey without question, to believe without thought. That is what Islam teaches Arab children. These are the literal words of our prophet. Your mortal mind is too weak, too small, to understand Allah’s will in His creation. Do not trust your mind. Trust my words blindly.

I’ve been forced to wear the hijab since I was 10 years old. I was too young to understand then, too young to say no, but when I was a teenager I tried to argue that I would wear it when I’m older, when I can understand, when I feel ready. All of this got shot down angrily, even with me crying my eyes out for days, begging for some freedom to breathe. I am still forced to wear it to this day.

I’ve been forced to pray the 5 daily prayers since I was 4 years old. My parents would grab me and put me in a long tarha and make me do the movements next to my mother (never, of course, standing next to my father or brothers. Even in families, the wife and daughters stand behind the sons and father), before I was even old enough to understand the words being said. My father followed prophet Muhammed’s words “Order your children to pray by 7, beat them for it by 10″. A child refusing to pray would mean a punishment worse than death. I’m still forced to pray, to this day.

I’ve been forced and dragged and beaten and screamed at and punished since I was 5 to memorise the Qura’an. It’s made up of long verses in complex Arabic. It often speaks of violence towards non-believers, both in this life and the next. It often insults and sneers at Christians and Jews. It often speaks of violence against women. It speaks of the murder of homosexual men - and never brings up the unthinkable, homosexual women. It speaks of the evils of women, befriending non-believers, homosexuality and disobedience. It speaks of women being unclean while on their periods. We are not allowed to touch the Qura’an or even speak it aloud during our periods. I am still forced to memorise it, to this day.

I am forced to dress in long, uncomfortable, itchy materials, even in 50 degree weather (celsius) in the Saudi Arabian sun. I can not wear see-through materials, or tight materials, or even half sleeves. Every inch of me must be covered save for my hands, my feet and my face. I often pass out from the heat. I can’t wear a swimsuit at the beach. I can’t wear shorts or tank tops in my own house. I can’t stand in the cool breeze with my hair blowing behind me. I am not allowed to become a judge. I am not allowed to be a ruler. My word in court counts for half of what a man’s does. I am the image of the devil. I am sin. I am a woman.

I can’t stand up and say, I am an ex-muslim, I can’t stand up and say, I am a bisexual woman. I can’t stand up and say I denounce this religion, I denounce this life, I reject these limitations. I reject these ideas. My hair is not so enticing that I have to cover it. My arms are not sexual organs. My name is not arousing. My sexuality is not wrong. My logic is above your 1400 year old myths. I can’t stand up and say no. I can’t say, I was born into this life, I did not choose it, I was born a muslim, with muslim parents, in a muslim country. I can not say, I’ve tried your Islam and I didn’t like it, and I don’t believe in it. I can not say I’ve decided I don’t want it.

All I want is the right to say no. The right to reject a life that was thrust upon me without my approval. The right to seek out my own paths.

All I want is the right to say, No, I will not surrender.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover

Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

Apr 13 2025, 10:10 PM #20

Quote:A lot of the more liberal, ‘cute’ Muslims will always be on my ass about ‘you left the religion now stay away from it. Why do you keep talking about it?’ so I’m here to end this pointless discourse.

Because I’m not allowed to leave it.

I live in Egypt, a muslim-majority country with laws that allow my family to kill me with no repercussions if I disobey them, try to run away from them, bring ‘shame’ or ‘dishonour’ upon them (through such horrendous acts as having a boyfriend, or even just male friends), or if I ruin the family reputation. There’s a million and one ways for them to get away with my abuse, with marrying me off, with controlling my every move, with killing me in cold blood. If I speak out in my real life about leaving Islam, I’ll be killed by a brain washed stranger before my parents even get to hear about it.

Islam is not a religion of peace, and anyone who speaks basic arabic can tell you that the word Islam does not come from the word salam, meaning peace or greetings. They come from the same root word, yes, but that does not mean in arabic what it does in english. Islam comes from the word istislam, meaning to surrender. To surrender yourself completely to Allah, mind and soul. To obey without question, to believe without thought. That is what Islam teaches Arab children. These are the literal words of our prophet. Your mortal mind is too weak, too small, to understand Allah’s will in His creation. Do not trust your mind. Trust my words blindly.

I’ve been forced to wear the hijab since I was 10 years old. I was too young to understand then, too young to say no, but when I was a teenager I tried to argue that I would wear it when I’m older, when I can understand, when I feel ready. All of this got shot down angrily, even with me crying my eyes out for days, begging for some freedom to breathe. I am still forced to wear it to this day.

I’ve been forced to pray the 5 daily prayers since I was 4 years old. My parents would grab me and put me in a long tarha and make me do the movements next to my mother (never, of course, standing next to my father or brothers. Even in families, the wife and daughters stand behind the sons and father), before I was even old enough to understand the words being said. My father followed prophet Muhammed’s words “Order your children to pray by 7, beat them for it by 10″. A child refusing to pray would mean a punishment worse than death. I’m still forced to pray, to this day.

I’ve been forced and dragged and beaten and screamed at and punished since I was 5 to memorise the Qura’an. It’s made up of long verses in complex Arabic. It often speaks of violence towards non-believers, both in this life and the next. It often insults and sneers at Christians and Jews. It often speaks of violence against women. It speaks of the murder of homosexual men - and never brings up the unthinkable, homosexual women. It speaks of the evils of women, befriending non-believers, homosexuality and disobedience. It speaks of women being unclean while on their periods. We are not allowed to touch the Qura’an or even speak it aloud during our periods. I am still forced to memorise it, to this day.

I am forced to dress in long, uncomfortable, itchy materials, even in 50 degree weather (celsius) in the Saudi Arabian sun. I can not wear see-through materials, or tight materials, or even half sleeves. Every inch of me must be covered save for my hands, my feet and my face. I often pass out from the heat. I can’t wear a swimsuit at the beach. I can’t wear shorts or tank tops in my own house. I can’t stand in the cool breeze with my hair blowing behind me. I am not allowed to become a judge. I am not allowed to be a ruler. My word in court counts for half of what a man’s does. I am the image of the devil. I am sin. I am a woman.

I can’t stand up and say, I am an ex-muslim, I can’t stand up and say, I am a bisexual woman. I can’t stand up and say I denounce this religion, I denounce this life, I reject these limitations. I reject these ideas. My hair is not so enticing that I have to cover it. My arms are not sexual organs. My name is not arousing. My sexuality is not wrong. My logic is above your 1400 year old myths. I can’t stand up and say no. I can’t say, I was born into this life, I did not choose it, I was born a muslim, with muslim parents, in a muslim country. I can not say, I’ve tried your Islam and I didn’t like it, and I don’t believe in it. I can not say I’ve decided I don’t want it.

All I want is the right to say no. The right to reject a life that was thrust upon me without my approval. The right to seek out my own paths.

All I want is the right to say, No, I will not surrender.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

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