“No vanilla sex is not boring ….”

clovenhooves The Personal Is Political Violence Against Women Anti-Kink Social Media “No vanilla sex is not boring ….”

Social Media “No vanilla sex is not boring ….”

Social Media “No vanilla sex is not boring ….”

Clover
Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

1,001

May 29 2025, 6:32 PM

#1

A post from r/TwoXChromosomes:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1kyhlx0/no_vanilla_sex_is_not_boring/

Personal_Poet5720 So last night I was on the phone with the guy I was seeing. I brought up sex and told him that I don’t like BDSM acts. I don’t like choking, spitting, slapping , etc. He said he wasn’t into rough stuff either. He then asked me what I’m into and I told him honestly I’m very vanilla which probably sounds boring………he then asked me the thought provoking question “Wait why is it boring”…. And it took me a few minutes to answer.

Upon realization, I thought that because of pornography people especially women have been conditioned to think vanilla sex or sex that doesn’t involve choking or violence is boring…..when vanilla sex can be just as fun depending on the parties. So actually no vanilla sex is not boring. It can be quite delicious and luxurious haha!

Comments vary, but still a decent amount of BDSM apologia.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover

Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

May 29 2025, 6:32 PM #1

A post from r/TwoXChromosomes:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1kyhlx0/no_vanilla_sex_is_not_boring/

Personal_Poet5720 So last night I was on the phone with the guy I was seeing. I brought up sex and told him that I don’t like BDSM acts. I don’t like choking, spitting, slapping , etc. He said he wasn’t into rough stuff either. He then asked me what I’m into and I told him honestly I’m very vanilla which probably sounds boring………he then asked me the thought provoking question “Wait why is it boring”…. And it took me a few minutes to answer.

Upon realization, I thought that because of pornography people especially women have been conditioned to think vanilla sex or sex that doesn’t involve choking or violence is boring…..when vanilla sex can be just as fun depending on the parties. So actually no vanilla sex is not boring. It can be quite delicious and luxurious haha!

Comments vary, but still a decent amount of BDSM apologia.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

pisceanpharies

20

May 30 2025, 3:38 PM

#2

I can't stand that place. I got banned for posting stats about how tims retain male patterns within violent crimes. All of reddit is a cesspit, including so-called feminist subreddits.

pisceanpharies

May 30 2025, 3:38 PM #2

I can't stand that place. I got banned for posting stats about how tims retain male patterns within violent crimes. All of reddit is a cesspit, including so-called feminist subreddits.

YesYourNigel

234

May 31 2025, 9:08 AM

#3

I hate how even when they are forced to admit how godawful and toxic the BDSM "community" is, they characterise it as just a bunch of overly enthusiastic ditzy goofs with a skill issue, instead of male rapists and abusers finding the perfect tools to ease into and validate their abuse.

"It's just people thinking 50 Shades is reality" Do you fucking understand what it means to say these people are imitating 50 Shades of Gray but not understanding the "rules" of the game? It means that these women are being straight up abused. They are not living in an erotic novel, they are living in and experiencing this in reality. They don't need to set better rules with their boyfriends and attend BDSM workshops, they need to gtfo and never get into any kind of relationship that fetishises patriarchal violence.

Edited May 31 2025, 9:10 AM by YesYourNigel.

YesYourNigel

May 31 2025, 9:08 AM #3

I hate how even when they are forced to admit how godawful and toxic the BDSM "community" is, they characterise it as just a bunch of overly enthusiastic ditzy goofs with a skill issue, instead of male rapists and abusers finding the perfect tools to ease into and validate their abuse.

"It's just people thinking 50 Shades is reality" Do you fucking understand what it means to say these people are imitating 50 Shades of Gray but not understanding the "rules" of the game? It means that these women are being straight up abused. They are not living in an erotic novel, they are living in and experiencing this in reality. They don't need to set better rules with their boyfriends and attend BDSM workshops, they need to gtfo and never get into any kind of relationship that fetishises patriarchal violence.

Impress Polly

27

Jul 21 2025, 7:24 PM

#4

It's almost comically pathetic that women today feel stigmatized for preferring for sex to actually revolve around pleasure rather than male violence and hate.

Like if we were to rename this board "Vanilla Secret", set it to dark mode by default, and set it up to play this song in the background automatically, THAT is what would actually be edgy and fun. It's just a suggestion. :blobthinksmirk:

:blobthinksmirk:

Edited Jul 21 2025, 7:30 PM by Impress Polly.

Impress Polly

Jul 21 2025, 7:24 PM #4

It's almost comically pathetic that women today feel stigmatized for preferring for sex to actually revolve around pleasure rather than male violence and hate.

Like if we were to rename this board "Vanilla Secret", set it to dark mode by default, and set it up to play this song in the background automatically, THAT is what would actually be edgy and fun. It's just a suggestion. :blobthinksmirk:

Elsacat

431

Jul 22 2025, 7:43 AM

#5

(Jul 21 2025, 7:24 PM)Impress Polly Like if we were to rename this board "Vanilla Secret", set it to dark mode by default, and set it up to play this song in the background automatically, THAT is what would actually be edgy and fun. It's just a suggestion.

lmao, I love it. Maybe "Vanilla Secret" should be its own board.

On the subject of 50 Shades, when the book and then the movie came out, I saw so many people I knew who were BDSMers who were on their high horse about their "practices" or "lifestyle" or whatever being poorly portrayed, "that's not BDSM, that's ABUSE!" etc. And while I won't tell them they were wrong, I was always surprised that not one of them ever thought to point that analysis back at themselves and their practices. None of them could come up with a better dividing line other than consent, and does someone truly consent to extreme BDSM? How much consent do you still have when you've been beaten, humiliated, verbally abused, restrained, told you're not a good "sub" or "slave" if you don't comply, or you're not a good "dom" or "master" if you don't do certain things? The lifestyle seems like it's for people who want to abuse and for those who think they deserve abuse. It's sad.

Elsacat

Jul 22 2025, 7:43 AM #5

(Jul 21 2025, 7:24 PM)Impress Polly Like if we were to rename this board "Vanilla Secret", set it to dark mode by default, and set it up to play this song in the background automatically, THAT is what would actually be edgy and fun. It's just a suggestion.

lmao, I love it. Maybe "Vanilla Secret" should be its own board.

On the subject of 50 Shades, when the book and then the movie came out, I saw so many people I knew who were BDSMers who were on their high horse about their "practices" or "lifestyle" or whatever being poorly portrayed, "that's not BDSM, that's ABUSE!" etc. And while I won't tell them they were wrong, I was always surprised that not one of them ever thought to point that analysis back at themselves and their practices. None of them could come up with a better dividing line other than consent, and does someone truly consent to extreme BDSM? How much consent do you still have when you've been beaten, humiliated, verbally abused, restrained, told you're not a good "sub" or "slave" if you don't comply, or you're not a good "dom" or "master" if you don't do certain things? The lifestyle seems like it's for people who want to abuse and for those who think they deserve abuse. It's sad.

Impress Polly

27

Yesterday, 3:50 AM

#6

(Jul 22 2025, 7:43 AM)Elsacat lmao, I love it. Maybe "Vanilla Secret" should be its own board.

On the subject of 50 Shades, when the book and then the movie came out, I saw so many people I knew who were BDSMers who were on their high horse about their "practices" or "lifestyle" or whatever being poorly portrayed, "that's not BDSM, that's ABUSE!" etc. And while I won't tell them they were wrong, I was always surprised that not one of them ever thought to point that analysis back at themselves and their practices. None of them could come up with a better dividing line other than consent, and does someone truly consent to extreme BDSM? How much consent do you still have when you've been beaten, humiliated, verbally abused, restrained, told you're not a good "sub" or "slave" if you don't comply, or you're not a good "dom" or "master" if you don't do certain things? The lifestyle seems like it's for people who want to abuse and for those who think they deserve abuse. It's sad.

These for me are the keys. To proponents, it's enough that one is technically making a choice and it simply doesn't matter in what life context that choice is being made or if it's in their better interests. The percentage of "subs" who were physically abused as children simply doesn't affect their ability to make a healthy decision for themselves in the mental world of these people. Hitting someone who grew up being hit because they agree to it isn't exploitation, it's a form of therapy. Right? ...shivers

Edited Yesterday, 3:55 AM by Impress Polly.

Impress Polly

Yesterday, 3:50 AM #6

(Jul 22 2025, 7:43 AM)Elsacat lmao, I love it. Maybe "Vanilla Secret" should be its own board.

On the subject of 50 Shades, when the book and then the movie came out, I saw so many people I knew who were BDSMers who were on their high horse about their "practices" or "lifestyle" or whatever being poorly portrayed, "that's not BDSM, that's ABUSE!" etc. And while I won't tell them they were wrong, I was always surprised that not one of them ever thought to point that analysis back at themselves and their practices. None of them could come up with a better dividing line other than consent, and does someone truly consent to extreme BDSM? How much consent do you still have when you've been beaten, humiliated, verbally abused, restrained, told you're not a good "sub" or "slave" if you don't comply, or you're not a good "dom" or "master" if you don't do certain things? The lifestyle seems like it's for people who want to abuse and for those who think they deserve abuse. It's sad.

These for me are the keys. To proponents, it's enough that one is technically making a choice and it simply doesn't matter in what life context that choice is being made or if it's in their better interests. The percentage of "subs" who were physically abused as children simply doesn't affect their ability to make a healthy decision for themselves in the mental world of these people. Hitting someone who grew up being hit because they agree to it isn't exploitation, it's a form of therapy. Right? ...shivers

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