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“AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own house” - Clover - Mar 31 2025
Reddit r/AITAH: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1jo3of9/aita_for_flashing_my_mil_after_she_told_me_not_to/
Ill-Hall-2953 I recently had a baby and have been breastfeeding her regularly. My MIL came over on short-notice while I was doing chores around the house. She picked some things from our garden and chatted with me and my husband. She sat down and started watching the news on the tv.
I ended up watching TV a bit later too, and I was tired. My baby started getting fussy. I pulled down my top to start nursing her. My MIL swung her head to me and gave me a look. She huffed and said "really? around me?? i'll just get naked too and have it all hanging out huh" and rolled her eyes at me.
This isn't the first time she's done something like this. And the last time she made a comment while she was here for the day I just took my baby into another room. Then my husband bought me a cover but my baby doesn't like it when I use it. This time I just had enough. I didn't have it "all hanging out" and I was doing it pretty discreetly, not facing her.
I was tired and wasn't really thinking. I just pulled off my top and stood up right in front of her and told her "I'll feed my baby when I want in my house." She just stared at me and I added "if you don't like it you can leave". I sat back down and she said "I can't believe this girl" and got up and left.
My husband was there and afterwards said I didn't have to go that far. He said MIL texted him angrily. But I was just tired in the moment and all I was thinking about was just feeding my baby.
AITA here?
RE: “AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own ho... - VerdantHorizon - Mar 31 2025
I'm glad to see the comments are calling out both the MIL for being a weirdo sexualizing a breast's intended purpose and the husband for not having OP's back.
RE: “AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own ho... - Lemonade - Mar 31 2025
NTA. Babies need to eat, and women shouldn't have to be sent away and hidden just to feed their children. OP found a way to make her point heard.
RE: “AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own ho... - Wrongtoy - Mar 31 2025
I would tell the husband that his mother is persona non grata. The nerve of this old bat. No easter, no Thanksgiving and no Christmas with her. Everything is off until the child is no longer breastfeeding at least, after which there’s an argument to keep the kid from toxic grandma indefinitely.
RE: “AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own ho... - wormwood - Mar 31 2025
So depressing that this battle still has to be fought, more than 20 years after I gave my every single female relative hell if they so much as side-eyed my nursing whenever the hell the baby felt like it.
RE: “AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own ho... - YesYourNigel - Apr 1 2025
Women needing to cover breasts is literally the Western version of hijab and it drives me bonkers that people don't see it.
RE: “AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own ho... - Clover - Apr 1 2025
(Apr 1 2025, 2:02 PM)YesYourNigel Women needing to cover breasts is literally the Western version of hijab and it drives me bonkers that people don't see it.
Because we're "not allowed" to make such statements or connections. It's a "fashion faux pas" and we all know how much we, as women, must looooove fashion.
But seriously, anti-feminists greatly discourage women making connections between Muslim oppression of women via making certain female body parts "obscene" and "must be covered up" to Western ones like the shaming women get when they breastfeed children, which is a part of shaming women for "exposing" their chests (which Western men are, of course, allowed to do for some mysterious reason 🤔🤔🤔).
This follows along with the other fashion faux pas they created that seeks to discourage equating Islam and Christianity as both being misogynistic shit religions. We're not allowed to do that! Clearly Islam is worse, therefore stop criticizing Christianity!!
The only "comparison" anti-feminists allow for in these cases is "comparative suffering." Anti-feminists need comparative suffering to justify telling Western feminists that they need to shut up, because other women in other parts of the world "have it worse", so "stop complaining."
RE: “AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own ho... - niffin - Apr 22 2025
(Apr 1 2025, 2:02 PM)YesYourNigel Women needing to cover breasts is literally the Western version of hijab and it drives me bonkers that people don't see it.
That's a really nice analogy and I think I'll have to borrow! Also somewhat embarrassed to admit that I am one of the people that didn't see it that way until you mentioned it. To be fair though, I think if I try to use this analogy, I think I'd drop the "Western version" part, as sexualizing breasts and treating their exposure as somehow "obscene" is not strictly a western phenomenon. I'm sure we can blame exported American Puritanical culture for a lot its current "acceptance", but I think it gives a lot of non-western/non-christian cultures a free pass on doing the same thing (my own Japanese culture included). Coming up with excuses to control women's bodies as sexual objects under a male gaze is hardly a duopoly in the marketplace of shitty ideas...
RE: “AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own ho... - Wrongtoy - Apr 22 2025
(Apr 1 2025, 2:42 PM)Clover(Apr 1 2025, 2:02 PM)YesYourNigel Women needing to cover breasts is literally the Western version of hijab and it drives me bonkers that people don't see it.
Because we're "not allowed" to make such statements or connections. It's a "fashion faux pas" and we all know how much we, as women, must looooove fashion.
But seriously, anti-feminists greatly discourage women making connections between Muslim oppression of women via making certain female body parts "obscene" and "must be covered up" to Western ones like the shaming women get when they breastfeed children, which is a part of shaming women for "exposing" their chests (which Western men are, of course, allowed to do for some mysterious reason 🤔🤔🤔).
This follows along with the other fashion faux pas they created that seeks to discourage equating Islam and Christianity as both being misogynistic shit religions. We're not allowed to do that! Clearly Islam is worse, therefore stop criticizing Christianity!!
The only "comparison" anti-feminists allow for in these cases is "comparative suffering." Anti-feminists need comparative suffering to justify telling Western feminists that they need to shut up, because other women in other parts of the world "have it worse", so "stop complaining."
This is a really great point, clover.
For a lot of hijabi, wearing the scarf is a cultural norm, like females wearing shirts in California. Not wearing a shirt is legal, but am I ever gonna do that, probably not.
Breastfeeding in public is a little different. Covering with a baby blanket is not essentially a sign of respect for those around you as opposed to having some random male with a lactation fetish staring at you. With family members, you don’t anticipate that issue.
RE: “AITA for flashing my MIL after she told me not to breastfeed my baby in my own ho... - OffMyTit - Apr 23 2025
I guess I’m crazy because I feel like people’s bodies are pretty gross, oozing and excreting, expelling and ejecting sweat, saliva, pus, blood, etc., so I do appreciate social norms that promote covering our various orifices and glands, including masking for covering mouths and noses. I do not at all feel oppressed by an expectation of clothedness over nakedness. I wish men would be made to cover their torsos, rather than that women be expected to expose theirs., and of course a sexist double standard is never ok.